A Grief Shared

It was 28th October, a few short weeks ago. It was about 11:10 on a Saturday afternoon and in twenty minutes time we were going live for Saturday lunchtime’s game on Sky Sports between Manchester United and Tottenham. I should have been in the studio and in my chair getting ready to go on air at 11:30. Instead I was slumped on the floor in the nearby disabled loo in tears, shaking and hyperventilating. The depression and anxiety that had come out of nowhere in September had reached fever pitch, and I was gripped by what I later came to realise was a panic attack. That pain filled disconcerting day was the last time I worked, the last time I sat in front of a camera and did the job I had done hundreds of times. This is the battle I had fought in secret; this is the battle…

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